


The Things We Do for Love

by MistyBeethoven



Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [26]
Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Acts of Kindness, BBW, Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Presents, Birthday Sex, Birthday Spanking, Breast Play, Breasts, Concerts, F/M, First Time, For Adults Only, Large Breasts, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Stories, Missionary Position, Oral Sex, Overweight, Penis In Vagina Sex, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Sacrifice, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Self-Sacrifice, Shyness, Van Halen - Freeform, Virginity, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:34:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22722511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: I actually somehow manage to get Ted "Theodore" Logan to take me to an Air Supply concert despite his reluctance and Death wanting to tag along. After the concert, however, I realize that this is all the proof I need of how much the Wyld Stallyn loves me and I decide to show him my supreme gratitude and just how truly touched I am by his gesture.*I decided to do this as an experimental two chapter deal.*The first chapter is a G.*The second chapter is Explicit.*That way we keep it sweet and clean on one spectrum and sweet and dirty on the other.
Relationships: Me & Grim Reaper|Death, Ted "Theodore" Logan & Grim Reaper|Death, Ted "Theodore" Logan/Me
Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589944
Kudos: 8





	1. Sacrifice & First Present

**Author's Note:**

> This is the official follow-up to "Where I Was When I First Loved You." You don't need to read that but it adds to it a little.
> 
> Air Supply is one of my favorite bands. This story started out with me knowing how opposite that it is to Ted's musical taste. I thought it would be funny to play with that. That was weeks ago and I finally started it.
> 
> Then I realized I had never done a naughty fic with Ted and I and wanted to so badly, and it fit so darn well here, that I added it. However that first bit was just so innocent I felt it could safely be kept G. But the other part I wanted/needed to do. So this is what I came up with. 
> 
> Death just came along due to natural causes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and I argue about my requested Birthday gift until Death sticks his nose into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safe chapter. Perfectly Family oriented.

"No! No _way_ Erin!"

Ted "Theodore" Logan and I were sitting in the back of the van he commonly shared with his Wyld Stallyns partner Bill S. Preston Esq. when I sprung my rather ill conceived request on him. I should have known better. Honestly, I did in a way. I'd been dating the man for over two years now and I knew Ted would rather be dead than do what I had asked him to for my Birthday.

Something he proved to me once again when he looked at me bessechingly and exclaimed. "No way, Erin. You know I love you and consider you the most bodacious babe on the planet. But you gotta also know that there is no, no, no way that I would ever, EVER do that! I would rather be dead!"

"Somebody called?" someone asked in a strange European accent as the back doors to the van opened suddenly.

We both turned and recognized the Grim Reaper's morbidly pale face. His black robe only further accentuated his deathly white skin and he looked more than willing to be of service.

"Hi Death," Ted greeted not very happy sounding.

I gave a smile and a little wave.

"What seems to be the problem here?" the Reaper asked as he leaned on his scythe.

"Erin wants me to do the most unthinkable, bogus and totally heinous thing I can think of for her Birthday," Ted whispered as if the very thought of what I had asked him to do had frightened him so badly even his voice had become timid.

"What is that?" Death asked in curiosity, cowering already as if he feared it must be a horrible thing indeed.

"She wants me to take her to an Air Supply concert, man!" my loving guitarist cried.

The look of anxiety quickly faded from the Grim Reaper's face as he straightened up, no longer afraid.

"And so?" Death asked.

"It's Air Supply dude!" Ted asked incredulously as I folded my arms, furrowed my brows and pouted at the many insults I heard being flung by my sweetheart at the band I loved.

Death held up a finger. "To be fair, they are a very good band," he chastised. "Their songs are catchy and they have hit the charts all the world over. Many babies have been conceived to the romantic crooning of Russell Hitchcock. Although Graham Russell is not to be shortchanged. His voice is very nice also."

"Thank you," I said to the cloaked man.

"You're welcome," he offered back and Ted looked bewildered as we gave each other a high five.

"But their videos suck dude! Have you seen those things?" the poor boy asked desperately. "MTV will hardly play them!"

Death and I had to concede on this point.

"But you won't be seeing the videos," I said, holding on to Ted's arm. "You'll just be _hearing_ them."

He laughed ruefully. "And that's bad enough."

I looked down and frowned. When I had heard that Air Supply was coming to San Dimas to perform on my Birthday, no less, it had seemed like a gift from God. But with Ted being so reluctant it now seemed like a joke by the Devil instead.

Ted Logan turned to see my sad face and I think he suddenly regretted his words and felt enough love for me to apologize. "I'm sorry Erin," he said again. "But there is no way that I am going to that concert."

"If I may have a suggestion," the Grim Reaper returned his finger to the air. "Maybe I could take Erin to the concert. We both seem to possess excellent musical taste and would enjoy the evening without your more headbanging preferences and tendencies."

My eyes widened at the prospect of spending my Birthday without the man I loved. Death wasn't all that bad but he could never come close to my Ted "Theodore" Logan, whom had the stronghold on the heart contained inside my overweight body. I was about to say it was all right and I'd just forget about the concert when Ted began to look _very_ pissed off.

"There is no way that you are taking Erin out on her Birthday, you scythe wielding, life taking, girlfriend stealing Reaper, you! She's my girl and you can just forget about it. I'll take her!" my man exclaimed as he draped his arm around my shoulder protectively and possessively.

I beamed up at my boy and kissed him on the cheek, making him smile down at me happily with that beautiful Ted "Theodore" Logan smile.

Until he realized what he had just agreed to do, that is, and started grumbling again, looking less than thrilled at having to watch the loathed English-Australian rock band.

Death looked mildly disappointed but undaunted. "Well is it possible for me to tag along with you then?"

"No!" Ted snapped and shut the van's back door in Death's frowning face.

* * *

The day of my Birthday and the concert, Ted came to pick me up wearing his favorite Van Halen t-shirt, pink jacket and jeans. He'd pinned a rose to it and handed me a long stemmed one too.

"Happy Birthday, Erin," the man said, kissing my cheek. "You look beautiful."

I could tell he really meant it from his smile and the look in his eyes. I didn't really see why he loved me, though. I was so large and not like the other girls. He could have had his pick of any woman if he had set his mind on it but he had chosen me instead. It was an even bigger gift from God then "Air Supply" playing on my Birthday.

I also was amazed at the compliment since I was in my Air Supply t-shirt too.

"Here," I said handing him a box.

"But it's your Birthday not mine," he stated.

"I want you to have them," I said shyly. "Open it now."

With a shrug, the Wyld Stallyn opened the box and held up the items contained inside. "Ear plugs!" he exclaimed happily.

"You know what they are," I said with a smile, having feared that he wouldn't.

"Of course," Ted grinned and bounced his head, and in the process, his hair around a bit. "My dad keeps a bunch handy whenever Bill and I rehearse at my place."

As if remembering something, he quickly placed the ear plugs I had given to him back inside of the box and reached into his pocket, pulling another pair out; presumably his father's. Ted looked at them sheepishly and then at me.

"You came prepared anyway," I giggled.

"These are better they came from you," Ted stated lovingly as he held up the box. He then quickly tossed the other pair over his shoulder and extended his arm for me to take. "Your chariot awaits my lady."

I took his arm and we both walked joyfully to the Wyld Stallyns van parked outside, better than a stupid old chariot anyday.

* * *

At the stadium where "Air Supply" was playing, Ted looked around anxiously to make sure he didn't see anybody he knew to further humiliate him and make the night torture. 

"If you see anybody then you can ask them what they are doing here too," I whispered conspiratorially.

"Yeah," Ted smiled down at me. "That's right."

We found our seats, which were neither great nor horrible, and proceeded to wait for the concert to start. I kept looking at Ted, who was obviously uncomfortable. I took his hand and squeezed it, feeling like a mother taking their child to the dentist. When Graham Russell and Russell Hitchcock finally came on stage, however, and the show started he seemed to relax a bit as he realized that it wasn't going to be _too_ painful.

He never even reached for his ear plugs once before the final encore of "Sweet Dreams."

* * *

Walking to the van parked safely in the parking lot, I rested my head against Ted's arm that was almost as big as mine but in a more muscular way. "That wasn't so bad was it?" I asked.

"Nah," he returned. "The last song was kind of pretty. If I closed my eyes I could picture some band I _really_ liked and that was _really_ good playing it."

I rolled my eyes but smiled, centering on the compliment more than the innocently hidden insult. 

"It could have been worse, I guess, he stated. "You might have told me that you like the Monkees better than the Beatles."

He saw me flinch and grimace.

"No Erin!" he exclaimed, his body tensing. I felt it soon relax though. "It's all right," he soon added. "I love you anyway."

"I love you too, Ted," I said and rested my head against the arm I was once again holding. 


	2. Gratitude & Best Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knowing how much Ted loves me, I decide to show my gratitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT SAFE! NOT FAMILY ORIENTED! GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

As we climbed into the back of the Wyld Stallyns van I realized that what Ted had told me was true: he did love me.

There was no way I could doubt that after he had been willing to take me to see a band that usually gave him hives if he had to listen to them. Watching him fool around in the backseat safely putting away the various items I had purchased at one of the stands in the stadium, that sweet smile and kind look on his handsome face, I felt my heart glow. I didn't know how to show him that I loved him in a way that meant just as much.

Or maybe I did.

Ted and I had been dating for two years but we had never gone beyond the kissing and holding stage yet. He knew of my body issues and shyness and never seemed to want to rush me or make me feel uncomfortable. I'd always felt that he was a little anxious about the whole thing also. Two virgins, one who saw himself as a goofball and the other whom thought she was a butterball, both had difficulty finding the courage to take things to a more intimate level.

We both wanted to. I knew that. We just didn't know when to do _it._ I thought that "when" had finally arrived.

"Ted," I said, crawling towards him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Yeah Erin," he said, winding some loose cord around into a circle.

"You gave me the first part of my Birthday present," I informed him softly. "But you didn't give me the most _important_ part."

He stopped his winding and turned to look at my head resting on his shoulder. "I didn't? What was it supposed to be?"

"Could you please make love to me?" I asked.

The cord fell out of his hands which had suddenly become clumsy. Turning around, he faced me, looking hesitant but excited too. "Are you sure?"

I nodded.

His familiar and perfect smile returned but faded as I visibly recognized as two thoughts entered his mind. "I-I don't have protection...and I...I'm so nervous...What if i can't manage to get a..." he looked down at his crotch and then back up at me, "a chubby."

I grabbed the belt to his jeans and started to undo it as I looked up into his face with a smile I hoped would comfort him and his nerves. "If I had your baby Ted "Theodore" Logan, I would consider it to be your third Birthday gift to me. And as for that chubby...well I'm chubby myself so let me handle that for you."

My hands began to lower his jeans and I discovered that was all there was to lower. Ted gulped as I discovered the fact that he wasn't wearing underwear and I giggled again before I took his still limp cock in my hand. It was soft and beautiful and I looked at it in wonder for it was the first I had ever touched. My fingers caressed it, my hands ran up and down its length and then travelled down to the balls below to scoop them in each hand.

Still he remained limp, his fear getting the best of him.

"See I told you!" Ted groaned. "I'm no good."

Knowing that sex was half as much in the head as it was in the body, I decided to give my boy something to think about. Removing his jacket and grabbing his t-shirt, I gently urged him to let me remove it too. He lifted his arms and I pulled it off, revealing his white, smooth chest. My hands went to it, lightly stroking the skin and trailing to his scarred stomach which I rubbed as if he were a giant Labrador retriever. I started to kiss Ted Logan's chest and in between my kisses, making their way ever lower, I whispered to him sensuously.

"Just pretend I'm all out of oxygen Ted " _Theodore_ " Logan..."

I was at the scar on his stomach.

"And in your lovely balls..."

I squeezed them as I placed my tongue in his belly button and licked to beneath it.

"There is enough air to help me survive."

My mouth met the swatch of dark pubic hair above the cock I saw was starting to awaken. I pressed my finger against its slit and massaged it, feeling it stirring even more. Ted moaned as my lips continued their decent.

"And this large dick, here, well it's what I'm depending on to keep me alive."

The penis in my hand gave a twitch as if proclaiming that it was more than up to the challenge, for _up_ it was surely becoming.

My mouth was by its head now as I said more loudly, but still as slinkily as before, "It's my tube straight to all the oxygen in your balls and I'm gonna suck on it like there is no tomorrow because, baby, you are my _real_ Air Supply!" and with that declaration I placed the cock's reddening tip in to my mouth.

Ted moaned as I started to suck on him, one hand rubbing his shaft as the other toyed with his balls. I felt my man becoming hard, and I made each of my words valid, licking and sucking on the organ with the passion of somebody trying to stay alive.

By the time, I felt Ted pushing my head off of his penis it was fully erect and his thoughtful brown eyes were filled no longer with fear but desire instead.

My mouth hung open and some of the boy's precome dripped from it. Ted placed a finger inside of my mouth and stroked my tongue. "I want to come in your vagina, Erin...If you keep that up I won't be able to help myself and I'll unload it all in here so you'd better stop."

I could tell it had taken all of his strength to stop me from going further and I made a show of swallowing what fluid he had given me in gratitude while his finger was still in my mouth.

"Here I thought you were a Tiffany and you turn into a Lita Ford on me behind closed doors!" Ted remarked in complete stupefaction as he pulled out his finger, my lips still wrapped around it.

I was afraid he didn't like this side of me until he beamed radiantly, "Most EXCELLENT!"

Laughing and turning around to remove my shirt, as I was still kneeling, I felt Ted sliding up behind me, taking over and yanking it over my head. He practically tore my bra off as I felt his erection pressing into my back and smearing it with his precome and my saliva. Lustfully he grabbed each of my breasts, them spilling partly out of his large hands, and it was my turn to moan as he squeezed them.

"I've wanted to molest your gargantuan garbanzos since the first time I saw you, Erin," he said, beginning to tease my nipples and make them come out.

"Unnhhh," I started to moan without meaning to.

Ted placed his head into the crook of my neck as he continued to fondle my breasts. He looked at me. "But there's my plump little Tiffany again!" he said. "Blushing, turning all red... You're still my little shy girl, Erin."

He kissed my cheek as his left hand dipped into my pants and started to play with my clit. Whimpering, I moved my hips, my full bum pressing against him.

After a few seconds, Ted pulled his hand out and held it out in front of us both. I saw my cream glistening on it and I rested against him. 

"I'd say you're wet enough," he declared with another enthusiastic kiss on my cheek. "And not a moment too soon! I'm dying trying not to shoot off."

Gently he set me free, his hands going to my pants. He held them as I crawled out of them. I felt his hand gently slapping my now bared ass and I looked over my shoulder at him, trying to raise an eyebrow.

"Birthday spanks!" he announced innocently enough and I wriggled my ass, begging for a few more. Ted happily obliged and then kissed the spots on the cheeks where his hand had met. 

I squealed as his tongue licked my crack and flopped on to my back, my head lying in the direction of the van's doors. Stepping out of the jeans still pooled around his knees, Ted "Theodore" Logan stood in front of me looking adorable and very naked.

And still incredibly aroused too.

I parted my legs, knowing that the swollen cock was soon to be pushed inside of me. "Ted, you are so handsome," I told him, feeling inadequate.

He got to his knees and kissed the belly which embarrassed me before saying, "So are you, Erin."

I knew he was being sincere. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in the tone of his voice. I brought my hand to his face and he touched it as we stared at one another.

"Get inside of me Ted "Theodore" Logan before it isn't my Birthday anymore!" I playfully ordered.

"Of course, fair damsel," he said and positioned himself to come inside of me.

I felt his cock at my opening and fixed my eyes on him as he slid inside, aided by the wetness he had helped create. It hurt though, the layer tearing. I bit my lip but looked at him constantly. Seeing my pain, Ted was all comfort and regret. "I'm sorry little princess. Do you want me to stop? We can forget about it and go get a burger or something."

He looked down at my crotch when he said that and gulped but I couldn't understand why.

"You're half in," I said. "I want _all_ of you!"

I tried to offer him a smile that would tell him that despite the pain I still wanted this. Smiling lovingly and sympathetically, Ted pushed in deeper. I looked down at the sight of him entering me and focused on this and not the pain. Looking at his face he was so cute it was hard not to love him more. He was in ecstasy but pushing it aside to care for me. I started to move my body since he wasn't, sliding my crotch up and down on his organ.

Ted started to moan and thrust as he moved to position his body over me, propping himself up on his elbows. It started to feel good. His penis was filling the area made for it and occassionally he hit something that made me feel pleasure that was overpowering. I was making small yet loud sounds and Ted Logan responded with more vigour, his head, buried in my large chest. My hands explored his buttocks, his back and even his hair, which I had already rumpled a million times. Now it was a frenzied action as I felt the pressure growing below where he was pumping deliciously into.

"Ted...Ted..." I was saying. "TED!"

He was alternately sucking on a nipple and rubbing his chin into my soft flesh and I couldn't take it anymore. I orgasmed, a unexpectedly violent action.

Ted removed his mouth from my breasts as my vagina began to spasm around his cock. He called out as I brought him to his own climax. As he ejaculated, my womb grateful for the gift of his seed, we kissed again until the final convulsion of our joined bodies.

Gasping and panting we stayed like that for a while, bestowing small kisses and declarations of love.

Our privacy was interrupted, however, when the van's back doors suddenly flew open. In unison, we looked at our intruder, Ted from his place lying over me and me as I tilted my head back so I saw the guilty party upside down.

Death was outside of the van, looking shorter somehow. I was dizzy and unsure of just why.

In an obviously fake and high pitched voice the supernatural being said, "Hello. I am the _little_ Death. You have just had two, I believe."

"No you aren't!" Ted said in frustration. "You're the Grim Reaper and you're on you're friggin' knees dude!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about...I am la petite mort."

"No, you're la _grande_ mort pulling a Dorf!"

The gig being up, Death got to his feet. He was looking at us smugly. "It was a good concert, wasn't it? I'm glad you two enjoyed it. I kept an eye on you just to make sure..."

The Grim Reaper's _eyes_ came to rest on my exposed breasts pressed against Ted's chest and his scythe raised a little higher. Following his line of vision, Ted sprung forward and grabbed the door handles, his now spent penis tickling my tummy. "Get your grubby little undead eyes off of my girl!" he snapped slamming the van's doors shut.

I giggled as Ted hovered over me incensed, his afterglow spoiled by a man in a long black cloak. I wrapped my arms around his back and petted him, in an attempt to calm him down.

"You beat a guy at Battleship and Clue and he thinks he can interrupt your most intimate of moments for the rest of your life!" my Wyld Stallyn complained.

I kissed his nose. "I know who did it this time!" I cried out, referencing the last board game

"Who?" Ted asked confused.

I smiled at him again. "It was Ted "Theodore" Logan in the back of a Wyld Stallyns van, with his orgasm inducing cock."

"On your Birthday," Ted added, his irritation fading and replaced by sexual euphoria.

"At an 'Air Supply' concert!"

Logan frowned again. "Geez! I just realized our first time was at an 'Air Supply' concert!"

"Don't worry," I said. "We'll tell the kids it was at a Van Halen concert."

"Really?" he asked, looking down at me in relief.

"Yup," I replied. "You certainly made me ' _feel your love tonight._ '"

Ted looked at me in gratitude declaring before he kissed me joyfully, "And you definitely proved that I am ' _the one that you love._ '"


End file.
